"When I'm on a golf course and it starts to rain and lightning, I hold up my one iron, 'cause I know even God can't hit a one iron." - Lee Trevino
"Golf is a game in which you yell 'fore', shoot six and write down five." - Paul Harvey
"Golf is a game whose aim is to hit a very small ball into an even smaller hole, with weapons singularly ill-designed for the purpose." - Winston Churchill